Diary of a Bipolar

this was written on Sept 26 but I forgot to post it, oops!

Dream Writer at Coming Out Of The Dark wrote recently, "My psychiatrist told me that when a person is going through a high mania - they are high from their natural Adrenaline and when they fall, they crash hard."

I did not know that anyone besides me experiences that. I've never read about it. I've mentioned the crashing to my dr. but he never specifically told me it was related.

Now I understand why I am more out of breath even though I am more energetic when I'm high. I also have Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia. That is another contributing factor to me being so damn fat. Any exercise makes me out of breath quickly. Going up and down a flight of steps to do laundry sends my pulse to 180. I've been treated for it but the meds that keep it tolerable (I don't go above 140 beats per minute) also make me very, very sleepy, and what's the point of keeping my heart rate down if I'm too tired to do anything? Up until 2002 I was told I had supraventricular tachycardia, but they did an ablation which didn't do a damn bit of good, then they changed my diagnosis to IST. Bleh.

I am so tired of all these medical problems. I have felt like utter crap for about a month and been really tired, and I was blaming it on post-mania. Some of the time I knew I was manic because I had other symptoms, but other times I was like, "Hmmm.. I didn't have any other symptoms."

I made a connection recently that when I eat a lot of carbs I feel really awful afterwards. So I went to the doctor and she did some blood tests. My fasting and 3 month average blood sugar came out normal but my thyroid didn't. The level of TSH should be less than 4.5 and I'm 6.75, and my thyroid seems to be enlarged. I get an ultrasound on Wed. for that. My mother and father are/were diabetic as were both of my grandmothers. My older sister has Insulin Resistance. So on Wed. I am also doing a 3 hour glucola resistance test. They will take my fasting blood sugar then I have to drink an icky syrupy full-of-sugar concotion, then they take my blood again at intervals over a 3 hour period. I think this will show what's truly going on, because it's after I eat carbs that I feel crappy.

The thyroid med should kick in in about a week. Then I go in a month to get my levels drawn again.

Ugh.